In my bed, with the scotch you bought in one hand and the other tucked in my boxers, this is one of the best e-mails yet…
Did you write this or did you steal it from that website?
Why, I wrote that just for you. I was at the book club meeting at JCC when you sent your email, so when I got back home I didn’t know if you were still at work but I did want you to have something nice to read. I didn’t even pause to think I was in fact sending you a filthy email. Cool. I’m around all week, working my butt off. Won’t have much time but… always a bit o’ time for a laugh with you…
Um, it seems as though you accidentally sent me an email that was supposed to go to Liam MacGillis. This is Liam Johnson. Were you trying to reply to the email I sent last night with the new mp3′s? Do they work? Please let me know asap so that I can make any changes tomorrow. Jason said that the project has to be DONE for Tuesday, which I assume includes all the music stuff too.
Oh dear god! How embarrassing. That was bound to happen. I type Liam and it’s 50/50 whose name pops up in the box. This has ALMOST happened many times. And it is just about the funniest most horrible thing ever. He would probably be pretty mortified, you know how “straight” boys can be… so I’m not going to tell him you read about him fondling himself unless he’s good and drunk and time has passed. Honestly, I’m a bit red-faced, but… thank goodness I sent it to you and not Liam… Neeson or something. It is so wonderful, that you are now privy to my, um, complicated relationship with Mr. MacGillis… feel free to blackmail me for sexual favours, or to send me your own filthy emails. He’s a terrible speller and I need decent grammar to jerk off. I should have responded to your MP3 emails with a lesbian erotic story. I think the new versions are solid middle grounds. Like Kenny Rogers-era Dolly Parton. Yes, the time crunch is on for sure.
I must admit, I did read a bit of it, but only because I thought you were trying to send me some sort of cryptic message….AND because the first part I read was where Liam mentions having one hand on his scotch and the other on his bird – that’s fodder for sweet dreams I feel much closer to you both now, even if by accident.
So glad we’ve reached a compromise with the mp3s.
Sweet scotchy, crotchy dreams to you, sir! Xxx
Uh… good night.